You Like?
by watchingmewatchingu
Summary: Sometimes it takes a break up to make up


- So I stand here now and you don't see me at all.  
- Spencer.  
- No, Ash, it's too late for that. No more 'Spencer', it's over  
- How could it be over? It's now too late. This is the beginning of forever and my forever is you and without you, forever won't exist. Spencer, don't take this away from me, don't leave me with nothing.  
- There's nothing left. We came into this relationship with nothing.  
- That's not true. We had love, we had so much love.  
- True. Sometimes that isn't enough, when love fails you kind of lose yourself along with it and somehow things that used to matter, doesn't anymore.  
- I don't understand, how can you just wake up one morning, with no love left? How does one fall out of love? Fill me in, because I don't quite understand how that works.  
- Drink?

Spencer fills a shot glass to the top with José Cuervo and hands it to Ashley.

- I love you so much. More than I think you will ever know and for you to not love me, is okay. It hurts, but it's okay.  
- It's not that I don't love you, because I do. It's just. I can't, I can't be with you.  
- I see your lips moving, but I can no longer distinguish your words. Are you doing this because you know I can't live without you?  
- That's not why and you can live without me Ash, you were doing fine before me.  
- We found each other for this reason, to complete each other. I wouldn't feel complete without you.  
- Ashley, please stop.

Another glass of tequila is poured.

- Drink?  
- No, because if we drink and we finish it, that'll mean that it's over. Everything that we've worked so hard for. The love and friendship. The trust and honesty. Fuck Spence. You're breaking my heart.  
- There's a first for everything.  
- I get that you don't want to be with me, but please don't add unnecessary sarcasm, it's tacky.

Spencer sighs and lifts her glass.

- Drink?  
- A world of no, but due to the circumstances, I think I will.  
- For the women we've loved.  
- And the ones we've lost.  
- Salute.

Drink up baby down.

- Uegh!  
- Fuck!  
- Spencer?  
- Hm?  
- This is it, isn't it? When you go home tonight, you'll be sleeping in your own bed and when I wake up in the morning, you won't be there by my side. The scent of you will be nowhere near me.  
- It's okay.  
- Nothing's okay anymore.  
- It will be okay, Ash.  
- Don't you get it? Nothing will be okay, ever again.  
- I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now, but I'm here for you, I will not let you down.  
- That makes me feel so much better. Nothing cures the hurt you bring upon yourself.  
- You didn't do this. I don't want you to think that. Ashley Davis, you deserve so much more. Don't let this little thing stop you. Not this, not me, not anyone. You're smarter than that and you're stronger. You're the strongest person I know. All the images I had of my life when I was younger, have been all that I've shared with you by my side and if you don't see how much love I have for you, then maybe you're not the girl I thought you were.  
- Maybe I'm not. I fought for you. I always fought for you and int he end maybe that's what I needed. Someone to fight for me. Someone to tell me they loved me every minute of every day.  
- Ash.  
- Don't say my name like that.  
- Like what?  
- Like we need each other, like we bleed together. Like our hands were never taught to hold another. Like we only see each other, like we breathe together. Like our arms were never taught to need another, don't say my name like that.  
- Come on, you're not exactly being fair.  
- That's your opinion. I know how this will go. You're all sweet an innocent now, because you don't know how to act. But don't clutter your head, I'm fine. Some time will go by and all of a sudden you'll be thinking to yourself 'strange, it's almost been a year.' and it will be about that time and for a split second you'll let yourself think of me and you'll be reminded of the good times. You might even smile, but right now, I get it. You can't stay.  
- You're acting like it's goodbye.  
- And you're acting like it's not. I don't think you even realize the consequences of your actions. I'm not gonna fucking beg you, to stay with me.  
- I just love how dramatic you are.  
- It's not even about that right now. It's about you and me. It's about love, which you seem to have forgotten the meaning of. I learned how to take the good with the bad, you never did. When you love somebody, you should learn how to live with all their flaws. nobody's perfect. Not even you.  
- I never said I was.  
- Look at you.  
- What? What's wrong with how I look?  
- Nothing, that's the whole point. Sweatpants, hair pulled back, no makeup, this is when you're the prettiest, when you don't even try. I'm already at war Spencer, please don't make me hate you.  
- That's not what I'm trying to do.  
- Well what are you doing then?  
- I need a break.  
- If a break is all you need, why do I feel like shit? When you leave here, you're not gonna answer your cell and I'll be the one asking myself what went wrong. My texts will go unanswered, I will ring the doorbell and be rewarded with silence. I'll call your phone and hear that faint click. This is it, this is how it ends?  
- I realize that you feel lost in all of this. There are time when we need to learn not to lean on our feelings. Our feelings are most of the time different from our wants and never the same as our needs. So you might say that every single one of us are hypocrites, because we all contradict ourselves.  
- I'm bleeding out inside and I don't even mind, just know that it's all your fault.

Regretting her words, faster than she had finished them.

- I didn't mean it like that. If there was anything I could do, to make you change your mind, then please tell me.

Spencer turns away from the pleading girl. It's all too much to bare. Anything but easy and far too painful.

- Every morning that I'd wake I would look at you and smile, because I knew everything there was to know about you. I loved that. You were my strenght . Please, Spencer, I'm now begging you, don't leave me.

'I'm yours' whatever happens, that would always be true. No matter the distance between them. no matter their current state, 'I'm yours'

- Say this will have a happy ending.  
- You don't seem to understand.  
- Okay, what the hell, Spencer! What have I done? Why is everything so wrong?  
- It doesn't matter.  
- It matters to me.  
- It's all in the eyes, our souls.  
- Yeah, the eyes and I can see through all the bullshit in yours, but I can also see the good inside. Someone who's down to earth, someone who's not afraid to get some dirt under her nails.  
- It sounds like me.  
- It is, you know it is. If I close my eyes and wish hard enough, I'm still there, I'm still at that place I call home. So, Spencer?  
- Yes?  
- If you want to leave, you can. I won't hold you. To stay in a dysfunctional relationship can't be healthy for anyone.  
- If I stay, if we make this work, what can you promise me.  
- You know that if I could, I would promise you the world, but the world is not mine to give away. I could promise you a house, that looks just the same as the next one. Little boxes made out of ticky tacky.

Spencer pulls her closer, their foreheads meet.

- Drink?

Spencer holds out the shot glass in front of Ashley, dangles it under her nose, until the smell intoxicates her. She tilts her head back and let's Spencer pour it down her throat. The tequila burns and for a second her mouth is on fire, Ashley grimaces.

- You know you love it.  
- I do, but I love you more and to be honest I don't know how I did it before you.  
- Did what?  
- Life.  
- Life isn't something you do, life is something that happens.  
- As you watch it pass by, like cars on the freeway?  
- Something like that.  
- Spence?  
- Ash?  
- Can I kiss you?  
- If you have to ask before you do it, then no, no you can't kiss me.  
- Okay, let me re phrase that question. Spence?  
- Ash?

An evil grin appears on Ashley's face as she leans in and gently kisses Spencer on the lips. She opens her eyes and watches Spencer still lingering in the air, catching her breath.

- Wow, that was, wow.  
- You like?  
- How did we get here? Where did we go wrong?  
- I don't even know, sometimes people lose their way.  
- And if they're lucky...  
- If they're the luckiest people in the world, they'll find their way again.


End file.
